Here's some abortion stuff I've been thinking about lately as I keep growing my advocacy. These are my thoughts, not NWAAF's.
A Black woman came up to us at the rally and said that we keep comparing abortion access and reproductive rights to slavery and it's offensive and needs to stop. My colleagues and I were affirming and ensured her we'd never use messaging like that but it does get used in the abortion movement way too often. We offered to talk to anyone who was using those callous and inaccurate comparisons and ask them to stop. She appreciated it and a few hours later, I saw one of the signs and was enraged on her behalf. Slavery and abortion shouldn’t be equated as frivolously as they are. So stop doing this if you’re doing it.
Not every abortion rally or march is associated with one another. Maybe that's a “no duh” for some of you but I’m guessing it’s news to the others. In Seattle, where I live, there's a group called Rise Up 4 Abortion that I've seen stickers promoting for years. These folks do these egregious "die-ins" where people lay covered in fake blood in the streets. I hate this kind of shit. I hardly like marching in the first place and don't at all like extremist narratives and tactics nor do I think they work. Additionally, I've learned they raise money for nothing? They're not doing anything tangible in this work. I'm not associated with them and neither is my organization. There’s lots of good info out there explaining their whole deal but this twitter thread was my first real confirmation that they’re not to be trusted or associated with. Also, I work my ass off for NWAAF and we literally fund abortions. Even other abortion advocacy groups I’ve liked in the past and may have very cute merch aren’t doing it for me anymore. When you donate to NWAAF, your money goes directly to people who need abortions. When you donate to general awareness and advocacy groups, your money prob isn’t going anywhere all that helpful. With abortion and anything, make sure you’re giving to the folks doing the work, not to the flashiest name or biggest organization.
We have so far to go when it comes to abortion language. It's true that women get pregnant at the highest rate of all genders but it doesn't mean women are the only people who can get pregnant. This fight is, historically, a direct attack on women and is almost entirely about controlling women's bodies. But when you're trans or non-binary, it's often about something arguably worse, or at least the same with additional shitty layers. There is a total lack of acceptance and a harsh reminder that as a whole, society and the people in charge rarely even consider trans and nonbinary folks in these (or any) conversations because there's a lack of awareness, support, and desire to understand reproductive systems and justice for people who are not cis. Trans people get abortions and they’ll keep getting abortions and we all need to just get used to not saying “women’s rights” all the time.
I'll spare you the deep dive into racism here but I will bring up the Handmaid’s costumes. I hate the Handmaid’s show because it felt like giving people an easy out to point to something in a Trump-era. People watched that show with their hands over their eyes, clutching their metaphorical pearls as Elisabeth Moss, a person whose religion believes that “a society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out,” acts her ass off as someone who gives a shit about women in any possible way. Atwood's book is a classic for a reason. The show is a weird, bad retelling of a solid early 80s commentary on women's rights. But that's not what this is right now and it’s not where we’re at. Yes, history loves to repeat herself but referencing a fictional story that centers white women’s experiences is just not relevant to this current movement and where we need it to go. Handmaid costumes are not just tacky and overdone — they're meaningless. They uplift white women's experiences with abortion access when we all know people of color, especially Black and indigenous people, are the ones who need to be uplifted in these and all other spaces. And the costume isn’t clever and it’s way overplayed. White ladies should start dressing up as Laura Dern in Citizen Ruth instead.
This one is really important and also personal to me. We’ve gotta stop saying abortion is illegal or will be banned or will be unsafe. Here’s the personal part — you gotta stop quoting me to me. Abortion is safe and it's safe to get an abortion. The truth is, we don't and won't have to go back to hangers or unsafe abortions. As of me writing this, abortion is still legal and the majority of abortions in the US are done with pills, which is also called a medication abortion. It’s super safe and effective and as of right now, widely available by mail or through a clinic. Some states let you get the pills through telehealth. Almost always, folks can take the pills at home and have their abortion in a safe, comfortable environment. Essentially, referencing unsafe abortion, like I did all those years ago, is outdated and feels sensationalistic. It’s much better, imo, to be pissed and inform folks that mifepristone and misoprostol are widely available.
Give saying “I am pro-abortion” over “I am pro-choice” a chance. Say it out loud and get used to it. A lot of well-meaning people still use “pro-choice” and “pro-life” language and it’s confusing as hell. You can be pro-choice and still swing pretty-anti-abortion without realizing it. If you’ve ever said, “I’m pro-choice, but I would never….,” work on that. If you’ve ever said “I’m pro-choice” and then used it to explain your choice to have a child, it’s completely beside the point. No one needs to fight for a woman’s choice to have a child and yes I’m saying women here because people do need to fight for trans and nonbinary folks’ rights to have children, especially through conception and childbirth. But if you’re a cis woman, especially a white one, you may accidentally have lived your life thinking pro-choice means you support your friend’s cousin who had an abortion when she got knocked up as a teen. Insisting you love a good choice but you’d never get an abortion is the opposite of helpful for this cause. It’s fine if that’s how you feel, but in my opinion, you’re not pro-abortion if you say shit like that and if this makes you uncomfortable and you’d still prefer to say “pro-choice,” consider why. It’s much more powerful to be pro-abortion than pro-choice.
I won’t be nice about this one — fucking stop saying pro-life. Abortion funders and advocates are pro-life. Pro-life means you give a shit about human lives. Anti-abortion advocates are anti-abortion and nothing else.
None of this is to tell you how to act or what to think or feel when it comes to abortion access. It’s just some insight into the educational experience that working in abortion advocacy has provided me over the past year and a half. I’m not an expert — yet — but I’ve had an abortion, I am not White™, I know what goes into abortion work, and I really give a shit about our access to it. You’re not a bad person for doing any of the things I’ve mentioned above. But if I was signed up for a newsletter written by someone deep in this work, I might be interested in their thoughts.
And if you’re not, I’ll be back to a solid book recap on May 31st. Sorry to use this space to further my political agenda. I wish I could just read books instead of doing all of this.
xo